I AM

Hi Sweet Faces! Shame on me, I’m late again! I assure you, #TheWaitingSpaceWednesday will find its groove again, soon. Mom’s in town this week, and she came on Wednesday, so you know that meant party time right? Anyhew!

     Can I make a quick disclaimer? I love the Lord. I mean, I really, really love him. More than I love the things, which I love! LOL! (Tongue twister) His presence is just so sweet, and I seriously have never found a better place to be than in Him. I say this a lot on my blog, and I probably will always say it a lot, but writing my blog & waiting for him to assist me with what to write is always a process, and I wrestle, but If I’m going to be completely honest, I love it. I love when I’m unsure and how I can go to him and sometimes he’s quick to speak and other times I hear nothing at all. I love when he does give me something, and it almost immobilizes me because I feel the urgency to write it then and there. Today was one of those moments. My mother and I have been trying to get out of the house all day, and things just kept coming up, or we had something to do prior, and right when we were set to leave, the Lord in His oh so perfect timing begins to deposit the words. So…we’re here…

     I’ve been reading about Moses, the people of Israel and Pharaoh, which I foresee several messages coming from, and I’ve been laughing a ton while reading it. I’ve been laughing because there have been moments where I catch a stern, good ole attitude, and then there are moments where I’m like, “ew, is that me Lord?” “Am I operating the way xyz operates?” How funny is it to be the reader in some moments, and in other times you’re the main character of the book you’re reading. Neither side ALWAYS feels good, and so while reading through the chapter of Exodus I’ve just been all over the place. Sometimes my face is balled up, other times I’m super judgmental, then there are moments where I feel embarrassed! (Go figure).

     If you have never read the book of Exodus I encourage you to (and if you need some tips or suggestions on how to/where to start in your bible please feel free to shoot me a message) but, for the sake of this blog post, no worries, I’ll do a quick recap up until the point of where it’s relevant for today’s. 

     We are in Egypt, and Pharaoh who is the king of Egypt at the time has suddenly become threatened with the Hebrew people who were already present. Because they grew to such large numbers, Pharaoh in all his wisdom *slight sarcasm* decided to make them into slaves. Wrong move sir! This led God to come and rescue his people out of the land of Egypt. (Because he heard their cries, and heard about how mistreated they were). God assigned Moses to the job. Moses was tasked with being the spokesperson for them (as far as speaking with Pharaoh) and leading them out of the Land of Egypt.

     Now really quickly I want to touch on a few things! When Moses was chosen, Moses gave God a run for his money! God told Moses, “Now go, for I am sending you to Pharaoh, you must lead my people Israel out of Egypt.” The word of God tells us that, Moses PROTESTED to God, “Who am I to appear before Pharaoh? Who am I to lead the people out of Egypt?” (Exodus 3:11-12)

HONEYYYYYYY!

      Who does Moses sound like? *me raising my hand slowly*…How many times have you gone to your prayer closet and said to God, “I don’t have this, and I don’t have that?” Endless amount of times right? You know what, that’s ok! He’s your heavenly father and you have every right to go to him and express what you’re lacking, HOWEVER, you are at the ear of your father, your creator, the one who is all knowing! Why not go to him and say, “So you called me into xyz, I need _______.”

     I use to say, “God can you just ___ for me?” and then I had to straighten my back a bit and say, “Lord, is there anything too hard for you? Not “can” you but “if its YOUR will, will you ___ for me.” It’s not a matter of if He can. So I imagined God looking at Moses like, “bruh” WHO told you that it couldn’t be you? You’re standing in-front of THE GREAT, I AM, and you’re worried about your deficiencies? You better tap into this anointing and take what you need! The resource is right in front of you. HONEY! He was having an encounter with God and instead of ASKING for what He NEEDED he complained about what he was lacking! I told my mother, I would never have her come to my home, be in my space and not be upfront about what my home doesn’t have! MOM, I need tissue, some eggs, cheese and great mom while you’re at it, can I have some cash! She’s my mother, and if I’m going to share with anyone what I don’t have in hopes that they’ll help it’ll be her! You better tap into your father, and ask Him for what you need, especially when you have Him in your personal space! Why not?

Anyhew,

      After Moses protest, God in His patient loving way responds, “I will be with you. (Please peep that period) I WILL BE WITH YOU. And this is your sing that I am the one who has sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God at this very moment.” (Exodus 3:12)

      Can I be honest? God’s statement could’ve and should’ve ended with, “I will be with you.” but God is so hip! He knew where Moses faith was in Him. If we are going to keep it all the 100, Moses didn’t have that much faith in Him because if He did, “I will be with you” would’ve been enough for Moses to be on board! (You mean to tell me that when I go to speak with so and so, you coming with me Lord? Cool! I’m in good hands! ß That’s the kind of response one says when they’ve been tasked with something weighty and then reassured that they aren’t doing it alone) No, not Moses. Moses had to be informed that not only will God be with him, but that here’s some additional “natural” proof.

“But Moses Protested, If I go to the people of Israel and tell them, “The God of you ancestors has sent me to you, “they will ask me, “What is his name?’ Then what should I tell them?” (Exodus 3:13)

“God replied to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM.” Say this to the people of Isreal: I AM sent me to you. “

     My reaction after that last statement: “Sheesh, God is allowed to boast in Himself. God wants the glory out of everything and honestly, he deserves it.” I imagine in my natural mind, God saying, “I will be with you, what else do you need? *brush his shoulders off* tell them I AM sent you. THEE I AM.”

     I’d imagine for God this was common sense, because God knows that He’s almighty, all knowing, all powerful, but for Moses, it’s like, “I am” that’s not enough. But when you KNOW God in an intimate way, you recognize that having “thee I AM” with you, means that under all circumstances, He is, the very the very thing you need. In the hospital, I AM is the healer, in the broken marriages, I AM is the peace bringer, On sad days I AM is the sun and the joy bringer, during times of war I AM is the conflict resolution or the victory bringer, in financial hardship I AM is the provider, when decisions need to be made, I AM is the wise counselor, after a break up, I AM is the void filler. I AM is the very thing you need, when you need him and how you need him. So when God was telling Moses I will be with you, he was assuring him that whatever should arise, I AM here, so you have ALL that you need. Not in MOSES’S ability, but in who Moses is journeying with, I AM.

      Can I be honest? Today’s post wasn’t supposed to go this route, as a matter fact it wasn’t even supposed to stay on MOSES, but it just dawned upon me that to walk through this story in Exodus, we have to touch on every person involved. Moses, being the first one. He is LEADING these people out of slavery, out of a bondage on their mind, he is encouraging, praying, pushing, directing, instructing, teaching and guiding this people into a place they’ve never been yet it was promised to them. However, in order for him to be an effective leader God had to have this back and forth with Moses to get his faith Game up. How could Moses lead if he thought he was leading alone? How could Moses lead if he thought he was doing it in His strength? Moses, it’s not YOU doing anything, it’s I AM. Because, THEE I AM is with Moses, what is to come WILL be successful because he is equipped, not with what he has, not in his own abilities, but in who He is walking this thang out with, THEE I AM.

     I’m praying for everyone who finds themselves reading this, that you are encouraged and that you are reminded that, in whatever situations you find yourself in, do not look at your personal attributes. I’m so happy you’re a great wife, or husband, or friend, or student, or parent, or teacher, or mom, or sister, or dad, or uncle or aunt…that’s allllll good and dandy, but even those talents won’t get you far if you don’t have the I AM with you. I’m so happy you have 7 degrees, that you make 60k plus, that you have a house on the hills with a white picket fence! Wow! You’ve worked so hard, but even in all of that, you won’t get far without the Great I am. Moses, was looking at himself before he accepted a task that he was chosen for. Moses was looking at his resume and his personal profile, instead of where his help comes from. Do you realize some assignments God has on your life is just for you? That you won’t have a ton of partners or help, or validation, or assurance around you in the physical, yet, it still has to be done? I love the Lord because later in the scripture Moses continued to protest (yep, he had a come back for everything God said), and I’d like to say God got a little frustrated, but he still met the need! He sent help for Moses in his areas of disbelief! (What an awesome God we serve! He meets us where we are and assist us to getting to where we need to be when it comes to faith) However, God saw that even Moses needed some development in His faith. What an insult to be in the presence of God and looking at self? Yet, what a privilege that even in that space, your open acknowledgment of inadequacies of self-rest in a safe place. (The safest place!) Resting on solid ground, and resting on the ears of someone who will hear your issue and speak life to them.

     Moses was chosen to do great things, things that didn’t even make sense to him in his basic logic. When God assigns you to something, he doesn’t promise that it’ll make sense, but what He does and did promise Moses is that, “I will be with you.” “I AM sent you” isn’t that more than enough? Or do we sing songs like, “Send me I’ll go…” because they sound good.

     Wrestling with an assignment? Wrestling to trust God. I challenge you to go into your quiet space and be real, keep it all the way 100 with God about what you’re lacking and I bet my last dollar the Holy Spirit will in return remind you of how much you really have. How He already knows about the natural deficiency, but in the spiritual, baby that backpack and that armor is well equipped! You’re not alone…I AM, is with you, and whatever situation, mountain, obstacle, or assignment greets you on this journey, He becomes (because he already is) the way maker and the solution for it. Rest in that today. 

 XoXoXOXO,

 Alicia Elizabeth