I am 25.

I am 25.

No, seriously, I am 25.

It’s Wednesday, March 29th, 2017 at 9:25 and I am just getting around to writing this blog which I wanted to post last week ON my actual birthday, but grace…

I just got home, lit my candles, straightened up my home and sat down in my living room.

I am 25.

The windows are open and I can hear the cars passing. There is a small breeze making its way into my home, brushing up against my back and causing the candle closet to the window to flicker.

I am 25.

I need to go grocery shopping, but my day ran later than it should have. I need to wash my hair, but that’s a job in itself, I was suppose to meal prep and be in the bed by 10:00pm so that I can effectively get up tomorrow at 5:00am for a gym visit at 5:30am. 

I am 25.

There are roses on my dinning room table from a friend, who I told 15 weeks ago, flowers won't get enough sunlight in my home, (it never stopped me from purchasing them..lol) but every week since meeting, he’s insisted on buying me flowers.....they're beautiful. 

They remind me to smile.  That I am worthy of love. That beauty varies. & That anything not growing is, dead.

They remind me that love is free flowing.

I am 25.

I haven’t met my goal weight, my savings don’t reflect the knowledge I’ve obtained, I have yet to put all the information Dave Ramsey’s given me into practice.

I am 25.

I love my belly, and my rolls and the roundness of my face, although it’s seriously time to hit the gym…I am 25.

Recently, I’ve been frustrated with “surface level relationships” and have been having to remind myself that the word of God is consistent even when my emotions are not, I am 25.

I’ve been offended over minor things in the most recent of weeks, I’ve been trying to figure out if it has anything to do with my tolerance level, my age, what I ate or just my sleep…I am 25.

My apartment is just enough, for me. It’s smaller than my first one, but this one feels full.

I am 25.

Everyone around me is getting baby fever and married and I am like, “no Jesus, not yet.” I am 25.

I feel comfortable where I am, how I am and with all that God has given me.

Today someone questioned my progress in life, and ruffled my feathers and then I realized they were deflecting. That their comments about me, said more about them….but I digress.

I told the Lord on Friday, November 2th 2016 that I would begin walking into Entrepreneurship, and in the smallest of ways, he’s been honoring that with and for me.

I am right where I need to be, how I need to be, with whom I need to be with.

I am 25.

Today, I squared up with “Pride” and I declared that it wouldn’t win, that I would be coming after everything with my name on it.

I am 25. Today I prayed for a spirit like Jacobs, I wanted to wrestle with my emotions, my feelings and with what the Holy Spirit was ordering me to do, and not give up until I got it all. I wouldn’t let Him go until He blessed me.  

I am 25.

A couple weeks ago someone who hurt me, apologized.

I thought when their apology, If, it ever came...I would feel a jolt in my spirit to go backwards, to still be mad and to possibly ball my face up. I forgave them. 

As a matter fact, they were a season too late, the forgiveness had been theirs.

I am 25.

Icing on the cake, I poured everything God had given me, into them, because God is love and love is selfless…and the selfless God I serve lives in me, so how dare I not pour out of Him.

We want to be used right?

I am 25.

I am a wife.

The word of God has already declared that over my life, and knowing that and coming to an understanding that it doesn’t take a ring to make me one, has caused something in me to rest.

I have never been desperate for marriage.

I don’t believe I am called to singleness, but when I tell you I am content in the Lord, believe me.

Doesn’t mean talk, dark and handsome don’t get reactions out of me.

I am 25.

I love alone time. I didn’t appreciate it in my last relationship, and my next one has to foster it. Its mandatory.

I get it.

I understand the value of entering relationships (both platonic and intimate) whole.

I understand why we can’t make homes of out humans.

Aren’t they just dust?

I want a love that encourages me to wrestle in my prayer room…and then comes and checks on me and begins interceding on my behalf.

I want a love that really reads the word and reverences it in His everyday life.

I don’t want anyone corny though.

I’m not corny.

I am 25.

I want a love that reads the word but in our marriage whispers inappropriate jokes….publicy.

 I want a love that desires me because of my spirit.

I am 25.

I’ve decided for this year a few things that I want to be for certain, and that I want to be constant are:

-I want my “yes” to be my “yes”, and my “no” to be my “no”.

-I want to create boundaries that serve me first, and then, maybe deal with how it affects others.

-I will not look to my left or my right to see what the next person is doing, not to be selfish but to be focused. I will tend to the things God has trusted me with, the vision’s he so willingly shared with me.

-Obedience is a form of worship….(reread that)  and quite frankly it isn’t something we need to be celebrated for.(read that again) The word of God makes it plain, if we Love Him, we will Obey him. Period. I want obedience to be a posture of mines.

-I will let love in, constantly. I will remind myself that love doesn’t only come in the form of romantic relationships and so I will be intentional about identifying love, giving love and expecting love. (what would happen if our view of love shifted?)

-I will grace myself, allow mistakes, learn from those mistakes, laugh at those mistakes, and leap into the next decision.

-I will be bold about my life and ALL the things attach to it. (The Kings live in me, why do anything timid?)

I am 25.

Sexy. Comfortable in my skin. Heavy. Funny. Educated. Spiritual. Wise. Whole. Teacher. Author. Blogger. Vlogger. Wife. Mother. Wealthy. Entrepreneur. Explorer. Public speaker.  Business Owner. CEO of Some things. Do-er. (Speaking some things into existence now) 

I am 25.

XoXox. 

Alicia Elizabeth

P.S, 

-I know this isn't a traditional style post for me, let me know your thoughts. I enjoyed free flowing with you all a bit. :-) Wasn't meant to be a poem or anything, just raw writing. 

-Below are some picture of when I went back to DC and how I celebrated back home in Columbus, Ohio. I love love love love the community God has given me. *heart be still*