Glorifying "Busy"

*Inhale. Exhale*

Hey family, 

How ya'll doing? 

Happy July 27th. 

Random life update, bare with me. Free writing, random points and scattered thoughts...but, it's me. 

I've sat on ideas of blog post I meant to write for weeks. 

I paid my annual fee for this website and told myself, THIS year, I am declaring I will be a lifestyle blogger. 

THIS year, I'll promote my blog more. 

THIS year, I'll produce content more often. 

THIS year, I'll really walk into entrepreneurship. 

I said these things in MAY. 

Eh. 

Tired? Overly ambitious? Emotional commitments? Or maybe I was saying to myself what "felt" right. 

*Shrugs*

I've been wrestling with this idea of glorifying "busy."

This summer my life slowed down tremendously. 

As I mentioned in my previous blog, I GRADUATED. I changed jobs, I moved and... life got quiet. 

My schedule opened a ton. 

I was working, "just enough."

I had never worked, "just enough."

I have always worked "more than enough." To the point that when I was provided a summer to do nothing...it felt off.

Quiet.

Sad.

Lonely?

One of the first aha-moments I have been experiencing  while being a graduate, while living in Ohio is that I burry myself in work.

Was I avoiding something? Have I been avoiding something? Are the questions I have asked myself.

I enjoy my company.

I like who I am when I am alone.

I like how I spend "me time."

Yet, this was the first season where I had me time plus free time.

It felt....off.

First thing I did? Apply for jobs.

(I said I would be honest with ya'll right?)

Got the calls for jobs, got the jobs, got busy and realized, I didn't need another job or two, or three.

Tried reaching out to people who, maybe in my "busy" I hadn't had the chance to spend quality time with. Correction: who because of being busy I didn't have time to spend with. (Still working on this).

That didn't feel like "it" either.

Started doing a new introspection diagnostic and decided it was a good time to work on my fitness/health. (Still working on this goal too) But, eh..that wasn't it either. 

Then, like rain in the middle of a sunny day it hit me. 

For most of my life I glorified "busy."

Some of which I am sure I got after my own mother-- she has this out of the world work ethic, and then the majority from the world equating success with "busy."

Notice I said "busy" and not "productive."

This summer has become a summer of exploration. 

I've been uncomfortable mostly, exploring my thoughts often, examining my surroundings and asking God for a fresh wind of new things. (not tangible). 

It's taken me up until this week. (Starting at this deeper worship service my church hosted) to realize and remember, I have and I am E V E R Y T H I N G because of Christ. 

I've been feeling like my friend circle is mad weak in Ohio. (Which it is but not for long.)

I've been questioning why I decided to stay after completing school.

I've been missing my family a ton (not really a home sick kind of person).

I've been thinking more about the question, "what is my purpose?"

I've been thinking about where I am versus where I desire to be. Then following those thoughts with questions like, "where did you learn to desire those things? Who told you that you have to have everything figured out right now?"

I have been walking this season of my life out and bayyyyy-be it hasn't been comfortable. 

And everytime I get extremely uncomfortable my first reaction is to get busy. 

Which brings me back to the point of this long blog.  

Where did we learn to glorify the lifestyle of 'busy"?

Sometimes, (no forreal) sometimes I think about the people in the bible days and how they were SUCH profound people with accolades that in comparison to today's society wouldn't amount to much. Follow me...

Joseph was "the father of great faith." Bible scholars brag on his ability to trust God and to be obedient. That was a WOW factor.( To follow God and be obey!!)

 Moses led the children of Israel to THEIR promise land. (I mean he did a lot in leading but his WOW was simply being a leader.)

Noah built an ark and gathered animals. (WOW)

Bruh. 

Shall I continue? 

Something about the simplicity of their lives makes me often think, are we missing out on what matters the most by instead glorifying busy? 

Are we at the feet of the father asking for "more" because our portion which we are dissatisfied with and probably half-heartedly tending to isn't satisfying? Is it not eliciting a ton of likes? Is it not gaining you a ton of followers? Is it not making life more lavish for you? 

Are we depressed/sad because this generation has taught us that our purpose is ALWAYS LOUD, WIDELY PAID ATTENTION TO, COMES WITH A TON OF MONEY, A HUGE FOLLOWING AND IS ALWAYS SELF SATISFYING. 

Who are we to be dissatisfied with our God given purpose? Who are we, [the creation] to tell God [the creator]-- that what we have and who we are, is not enough? 

Who are we? 

To get so consumed in appearing busy. In desiring busy, and for glorifying busy? 

Can I be real? 

Can I be even more real (since we already been on the real wave)....

When life slowed down for me, I realized the things that did matter, I hadn't tended to.

I'm sure you read that really fast, so I'll write it again. 

When life slowed down, I realized, the things that matter, I hadn't tended to. Which resulted in this weird eerie feeling. 

Not because something was wrong, not because I was depressed, not because I was discontent but simply because "stuff" doesn't satisfy. 

Busy doesn't "satisfy."

I wasn't satisfied.

It wasn't until I welcomed quiet, welcomed being alone, welcomed uncertainty, welcomed discomfort and more than anything welcomed the Holy Spirit in this NEW place in my life that I realized "busy" is overrated. 

Busy is where the enemy can also operate, distracting us from quiet time with God, making us apathetic in our walk and in the things God called us to, distracted and feeling inadequate (which again creates the cycle of busying ourselves.)

Being "busy" is tiring and played out. 

So my prayer for you with July coming to a close, August beginning, and school being a sneeze away, is that you don't glorify busy. Be productive. The word of God calls us to be stewards of our time, money, resources, family, friends, community, gifts and everything He gives. However, the WORLD calls us to be busy, to not sleep, to do everything and to be everything. The world calls us to be ready made overnight, to be perfect and to constantly be on the fast track to "something."

Breathe. Explore where you are. Get excited about where you're heading and take it one day at a time. 

Yes, you have purpose. 

Yes, God has need of you.

Yes, he see's you.

Yes, he hears you.

Yes, you matter. 

Yes, there's more.

However, first breathe. 

Don't get caught in the hype of the world of being plain ole busy, going nowhere and deteriorating fast.

XoXoXoXo, 

Alicia Elizabeth

P.S, 

Thank you for continually hanging out and reading my blogs. I appreciate YOU!