Waiting on His Approval

     If you follow me on social media then you recently saw a post I made about publicly informing those who may follow my post, my youtube or even this blog in asking for some understanding in why my post on any of those sites are spaced out, which sometimes could look inconsistent in my work. The post said the following: 

Can I be honest? I’m sensitive about what I post, which sometimes appears as if I am inconsistent in what I commit to. Not the case at all.  I once heard a personal favorite of mines say, “I don’t speak on social media about anything I haven’t wept for in my prayer closet because  that’s irresponsible.” SHE.GETS.IT… The more I journey with the Lord, the more I learn that some of the things He shares with me in my “now” season are for me. They are for me to wrestle with, to fall down and get back up with, to explore and fully come to grips with. Then there are things He deposits in me that are for encouraging others. The things I had to walk through and then master or at least understand to the point that I could share, encourage and even teach with precise strategy. The one thing I fully stand by is not outwardly confessing, the things I am not inwardly living. (you’ll catch that in a minute.) When I encourage you, or speak outwardly about How good, how loving, how faithful, how consistent, how immediate, how strong, how available, how convicting, how patient, how compassionate, how just, how sovereign, how on time, how in control, how magnifying, how omnipresent my God is, it’s because I am genuinely walking this thing out. I am genuinely learning the different characteristics of Him. When I also share obstacles that I had to overcome, moments of discipline I experienced, its because that too, is something I had to walk out, that I had to first privately wrestle with, be corrected in, change of heart posture in and some, before I could come and pour anything into you. I thought because I didn’t mind posting IG captions that blogging would be easier, but in fact, it’s harder. Its harder because there isn’t a character limit, and when I pour, God encourages the most uncomfortable, authentic type of pouring. So tonight I’m working on the next post, It should be up prayerfully by morning. I appreciate your patience & trust that you understand, I never just spit stuff out for the sake of appealing to the masses. This  thing runs deep. #AliciaElizabeth #TheWaitingSpace #blogger

     Looking back, even from then to now (which was a short window), I can chuckle ( I mean a good eye roll, hold your stomach chuckle)  because somewhere in my flesh, I felt the need to explain myself. Which now, I think was the enemy in some small way getting in my ear making me feel as though I wasn't doing things the way the world says they should be done. As a matter fact, no one, not a single person, challenged me or questioned me in a negative way about why I hadn't been posting. See how the enemy works? 

Can I ramble for a minute? Can I encourage you for a minute? Can I publicly encourage myself for a  minute?

Stop listening to the enemy. Stop trying to do things in your own strength and stop trying to keep up with the Joneses.  You will fail every time.

      In a world where everyone is looking for a platform, looking to self promote and looking to gain a ton of "followers"...I am not. I genuinely am not looking to bring highlights to my name or attention to me as a person. I can't say that I've never wanted the attention, (Because I would be lying if I said this flesh doesn't act up sometimes) but quite frequently, more often than not, I am assessing myself. I am asking myself, who is being glorified here? Who are YOU (accountability) leading people to? What are YOU leading people to and most importantly, "why?"

     When I made the post above, it was to explain myself and to also share that God was once again giving me something to share, which meant,  time to work on my next blog post. Well what do you know, the God we serve does what He wants, when He wants, and how He wants. In moving how He chooses He completely put a hold on that post. Why Alicia? Because in the midst of sharing, he brought to my forefront that there was a piece in what I was writing to YOU, to encourage you all in,  that he wasn't done with teaching me. How's that for being honest? How's that for being transparent? How's that for recognizing when I haven't mastered a level yet too. (Message, reread that if you need to). So then what Alicia? So then I wait. (How ironic) I paused on what I was writing and I continued doing life. I begin to ask the Lord in my quiet time what He has his finger on? What was the lesson? What about the lesson did I miss? Especially when, prior to him stopping me, I was convinced, I got it. That I mastered the lesson. I continue until God finishes the lesson with me so that I can come and write authentically. (Catch that) 

     Sometimes, in trying to maintain an image, or in being consistent, I think we can loose our authenticity, we can loose our real reasons of "why" and we can become so consumed in the audience and what they want, that we forget who the real audience is, and thats an audience of One. It's like meeting a preacher, who we know isn't in His word, or living the life He's preaching. Yes, He has a message every week, and granted it could be a great one because He's operating in His gift, but what kind of seed is He planting if it's not a life that He's truly living. What does that say to His shepherd, and even further, how does His relationship look with the Lord? 

     My blog may never blow up, this blog might only be read by those in my inner circle, and honestly, thats quite alright, because time and time again, post after post, I'm asking myself, who and what is this for? Am I living out the things I'm blasting out of my mouth. Am I being honest with myself? Social media gives us permission to lie, to create a highlight reel, to present ourselves as being a lot further than we are, and to create the image we want to be seen as. Its dangerous, and requires a ton of introspection. 

     So I'm posing the question and also challenging you, In your works, whatever they are. Do you seek him and his opinion? Do you stop (if he ask you to), even if it doesn't make sense to those outside looking in? Do you genuinely wait on HIS approval? I entitled this post, "Waiting on His approval, while attacking my flesh" because that's literally what is taking place. (You are wanting to share his word, but also wanting to build a brand, be consistent, build support for your future endeavors, etc)  I want God to give me the green light in the things that I share, when and what I share, and sometimes He's like, "No Alicia, that's not for them, this is for you." Or, "No, Alicia, you haven't even began obeying me in this area, how dare you challenge society to?" Or, "Really Alicia, were you not just doing the very thing you're about to tell them not to do, isn't this still an obstacle for you?" While my flesh is saying, "Be consistent, people follow consistency, there's numbers in consistency, this will assist with your one day book, be consistent, just post it."

     Want to know what I learned that trumps that? "People follow authenticity, transparency and the ability to be vulnerable about where you are and where you are trying to get to. A step further the word of God tells us:

"And my God will supply every need of your according to HIS riches in glory in Chirst." (Philippians 4:19)

Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and YET God feeds them. Of how much ore value are you than the birds! (Luke 12:24)

     I use those two examples, not that they are the only ones applicable but because they make it plain. (1) God will supply your every need. If you're looking to be an author,a public speaker, some grand slam "something" you don't have to build, create or manufacture something that God already has in store, set aside with your name on it. (2) Parallel yourself to the Ravens, a bird! The don't have the intellect or the access to the things they "need" the way we do, YET.... God feeds them, and they are just a mere bird, so imagine what He will do for His child. The doors He will open, the people He will send, the contacts He will create, the financial backing He will provide...........if it's HIS will and if it's a NEED. 

     Catch that last piece..because in the midst of encouraging folks, we make the mistake of creating God out to be genie in the bottle. (Surprise, He's not!) So if what you're doing, is in fact His will for your life, IT WILL happen because you have the best support system in the world. You literally have access to THEE resource, THEE connect, THEE network, THEE door opener. You're connected. So, don't fabricate, don't move without his permission, don't even alter things to get ahead. If He promised it, believe Him to be the God who can't lie, and who will meet that promise in due time. Constantly be obedient and led by him, while attacking (and winning, because you're attached to victory) against that flesh. 

XoXo, 

Alicia Elizabeth

P.S, 

I have to get out of my own way and start posting more of the "short" things God shares with me to. I have this make believe idea that all blog post have to be extensive! The devil is a lie. Be on the look out for short post, quote, videos that move me, questions for dialogue and pictures. Sometimes God shares a statement, and if that's what He's sharing, then that's what I'm sharing. Who cares how and what the world says blogs look like. 

My sweet space. (my home) It's here where God speaks to me, pours into me, corrects me, lovingly yet sternly tugs on my heart, listens to me, laughs with and at me, teaches me and some. What are some of you private places like? What do they include? Who else is a candle & flower lover?