That Thorn

Happy beautiful Wednesday beautiful people!

Happy FIRST Wednesday of the New year! Speaking of Which, happy NEW YEAR!!! I pray you all are as excited as I am to create, commit and complete the goals you’ve set aside for yourself for this year. By the way, what are some of the goals you all plan to see fulfilled?

I am SO happy to be back! Yesterday, I got the sweetest reminder that The Waiting Space isn’t going to write itself and that I have a private and public commitment to it. (Just the boost I needed).

So where have I been?

If I am going to be totally honest, I’ve been under water, foolishly! LOL! Out here weak, and ain’t relying on where my help comes from. Struggling with a few frustrating thorns. (I'll explain further) 

Last semester was HARD. My schedule and seasonal life changes just seemed to really have its way with me. I’m usually pretty good with loads. I’d like to think I juggle my plate well. Do I over load, yes. However, pressure in the past seemed to fuel me to go even harder. Something about last semester/season though, honey child was all out of wack.

I cried a lot. I didn’t sleep as much. I had these “you know what God” chats a lot. I was frustrated a lot. I felt alone often. I was disappointed. I had unfulfilled expectations in myself and in my “community.” I struggled with communicating. I was drowning and really didn’t realize I was drowning until it was too late. I GOT BEAT UP. I was all over the place, which was extremely frustrating because believe it or not, I like to be in control.

Funny thing, as I’m typing this, the Holy Spirit is NUDGING me and he keeps saying, “Alicia you were doing life without me a lot.”

Ugh.  *eye roll*

Boom, there it is.

I was operating in myself, a ton last season. (And as I’m writing this blog the Holy spirit---as it normally does—found it to be such a great time to say that.) *eye roll* *eye roll* *eye roll*

Did you peep all of the "feelings" that I made "facts" above? The holy spirit is good like that, He will check you in the midst of covering up the truth. Yea, I was frustrated etc. last semester but at the ROOT of how I was feeling was me moving more in myself than in him. Relying on how I feel versus what the Holy Spirit had to say. 

So here’s the first hard truth: Operating in your own strength is exhausting. It’s so much easier to cast your cares on Christ.

Writing this blog reminds me of Paul in 2nd Corinthians 12, where he talks about having a thorn in his side. The word of God tells us that Paul says in verse 7-9. It reads, “So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud. (verse 8) Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. (v9) Each time he said, “My grace is ALL you need. My power works best in weakness.”

The text blatantly reads that Paul explains having visions and experiencing things that he wasn’t sure was an inner or outer body experience BUT to keep him from being proud and BOASTING he was given a thorn.

Funny thing about the word “proud” however is that it is defined as, “Feeling deep pleasure or satisfaction because of one’s own achievements, qualities, or possessions or those of someone with whom one is closely associated.”

Lets tie this all together.

Paul, had a thorn to prevent him from being proud and boastful. He said he asked the Lord 3 different times to take the thorn from his side.

I imagine the convo being like,

“Jeeeezus!! Ahhhh, it hurts.”

No answer.

“My God, God who can do all things, healer, believer, alpha and Omega, love of my life, first love, God above all Gods… the thorn. Whew! Only you can remove it.”

No answer

“God?”

No answer.

The word of God tells us, he was given:

1.       A THORN

2.       A messenger (Satan) to torment him & to keep him from being proud

Like Paul, we all have some thorns.

Some things that we have asked God to remove too many times to count.

Things that we’ve brought to his attention desperately, angrily, annoyed, hurt, confused, baffled, exhausted, courageous and defeated.

We bring them thorns to him a different way, every single time.

The word of God says the Lords response was, My grace is ALL you need. My power works BEST in weakness.

Hold up, run that back.

I got this thorn in my side Lord, and you’re telling me you’re going to give me grace?

No, what I need is: xyz

Which is really us boxing God in, limiting God and using our limited logic to tell God, how to be God AS IF He hasn’t been God since forever.

God said, “My Grace Is sufficient. My POWER works best in WEAKNESS.”

Now the Lord and I, joke a lot. At this point I would’ve fallen limp.

I would’ve just passed out.

I would’ve LOOKED weak, postured myself as WEAK, and just said “oh lord, I’m weak.” (silly rabbit)

LOL!

However, no.

What we really do is, tire ourselves out and try to take the thorn out of our side on our own.

God’s answer wasn’t enough.

We don’t trust Him when He says and when He said, HIS GRACE IS sufficient. We didn’t take Him at his Word when he said, HIS POWER WORKS BEST IN WEAKNESS.

Instead, like society tells us to, we mask weakness with strength, which results in further hurting, further exhausting, further damaging and further missing the lesson.

Last season, I had a thorn ya’ll.

The lesson for me, that I pray you catch early in this year is that HIS POWER WORKS BEST, IT IS MADE PERFECT IN WEAKNESS.

Want to know what perfect means? Lacking NOTHING!

HIS POWER LACKS NOTHING in OUR WEAKNESS.

Quick icing on the cake, Paul also said there was a messenger. On top of the physical pain, Paul was experiencing a mental beating from Satan. The devil was probably definitely whispering things like, “you’re going to die here. God won’t come through. He won’t even take this thorn.”

Listen, IT’S A LIE. A WHOLE LIE.

Please understand, when you’ve got a thorn, and a are experience mental torment, HIS GRACE YA’LL.

His grace.

I am a firm believer that you go through, until you get the lesson.

I got the wholeeeee lesson, and I pray you catch this lesson right along with me.

In 2018, we are ok with being weak, because we know the solution bringer’s strength is made PERFECT in our ability to say, “you know what, I’m weak. And Lord, I could really use YOUR HELP.”

It is exhausting moving in your own strength.

Don’t.

Happy New Year!  See you next Wednesday!

XOOXOXOXOXOX,

Alicia Elizabeth