I Wrestle Here

                I light one of my favorite candles, I turn on one of my favorite worship songs  and then this phrase rings in my spirit, “I wrestle here.” I try and shake that phrase, I try to glam it up, I whisper things like, “No, I come and talk to you here Lord, I pour out my heart here, I worship here, this is my devotion time with you my King, this is where I am most free..” etc. (Ya know, the typical saved girl statements! LOL) Statements like those, that give off the impression that quiet time is, ALWAYS, ONLY sweet, and QUIET (which is the farthest from the truth). Yet, I kept hearing, “You wrestle here.” Foolishly, rudely, and with the intentions to ignore the phrase, I kept dancing, I kept singing, and then I finally give in and just listen. I then experience the sweetest peace about the phrase. I say aloud, “you know what? I do wrestle here.” In my own humble yet cocky way, I then whisper, “and I always win here.”

                Tonight the Holy Spirit tickled me. I discovered a new meaning to my quiet time and space with Him. I found out, these times aren’t so quiet, and that while I was viewing them as such sweet spaces, I really was entering a war every time I decided to sit at his feet, every time I decided to silence my phone, turn on worship music and bring to him the cares of my heart. Can I be honest? Tonight something random triggered me to a place of annoyance, and if I dwelled on it too long, I probably would have grown sad. (Don’t play! Folks who know the Lord grow sad too) And then there was a tug. Naturally, when I’m in some sort of mood, I want to write, release, get it over with, explore what it is I’m thinking, experiencing, etc. Boom-Bada-Bam-done. (We always want fast, quick results!) This time however, when I was preparing to write about the emotions I was experiencing, as I mentioned before, I heard the Holy Spirit say, “You Wrestle HERE.” When I tell ya’ll I kept hearing that repeatedly for at least 20 minutes! Talk about being stirred me up! I mean I was really getting it each time I heard the phrase. I began to understand why the Holy Spirit felt the need to share that, TODAY.   “You wrestle here.” “You wrestle what folks think about you HERE. You wrestle what you think of yourself, HERE. You wrestle the hurts that meant to hurt you, HERE. You wrestle disappointment, HERE. You wrestle “no’s” HERE. You wrestle delays, HERE. You wrestle uncertainty, HERE. You wrestle fears, HERE. You wrestle the things you don’t want to talk about, HERE. You wrestle insecurities, HERE. You wrestle past mistakes, HERE. You wrestle financial issues, HERE. You wrestle lack of resources, HERE. You wrestle the very things you are afraid of being exposed, HERE. You wrestle flaws, HERE. You wrestle inadequacies, HERE. You wrestle the uncertain, HERE. You wrestle your behavior and your shortcomings, HERE..….You wrestle HERE.” The Holy Spirit didn’t stop there, He then went on to say, “You bring all those things here, and you wrestle. You don’t wrestle the way the world wrestles, instead you’re wrestling with what the flesh has to say about your situation, and what the Word of God has to say about it. And you DON’T leave this place until all is clear, corrected, dealt with, addressed and settled. You never leave this space heavier than how you entered. You don’t leave this place without strategy, as a matter fact, you don’t leave this place naked. You ALWAYS leave COVERED equipped, encouraged, validated, corrected, loved on, poured into, reminded, full and prepared.” Hence, when I said, “I always win here.” *insert the smirk emoji here and the muscle arm*

                Today’s post isn’t about any one specific thing, I just want to brag on the Lord a WHOLE LOT! He’s just so GOOD. The older I get the more I just and only want Him. When I tell you ONLY He satisfies, I mean it. I’m not just reciting lyrics to a song. When I tell you that His yoke IS easy and His burden is LIGHT, I mean it. When I tell you that He’s a good father, friend, provider and counselor He is. When I tell you He cares, I mean it. When I tell you, he knows, and wants to be invited into the know, believe me. When I tell you even the smallest things about YOU concerns HIM, believe me. When I tell you He desires to be preferred over everything else, and everyone else, believe me. When I tell you that YOU are wanted badly by Him, HONEY, believe. EVERYTHING THAT CONCERNS YOU, CONCERNS HIM. 

                HAPPY NEW YEAR by the way!!!! This is the FIRST New Year, where I didn’t sit down and think about a single goal. I literally found such a peace in JUST being close to Him. It was enough. It still is ENOUGH. I didn’t do any planning, any overthinking (call it what it is), set any goals or outrageous expectations, I literally whispered in my heart, “Lord, whatever you allow. Let YOUR will be done.” The more I handed my life and this year over to Him the more I realized, every great opportunity that is for me, will come, every door that I need open, will open and the ones needing to be closed, will close. There’s a different kind of peace attached to just rocking with the Lord, at His speed and in His time. When you trust Him as your father, as your leader, as your provider, as your wise counsel, you just begin to assume that His guidance includes presenting the things necessary to YOU, in the time that it needs to be presented. You begin to realize that it is out of the spiritual relationship that success in the natural is birthed. (Reread that!)

I just wanted to really check in and say Happy New Year! (again) The past few weeks, again, I’ve been on GO mode. Traveling (praise God, because it was a desire of mines to travel more in the past, so to see it coming to past blows my mind often) I went to New Orleans 2 weeks ago for a service trip, working on homes affected by Hurricane Katrina. Two words: LIFE CHANGING!! I am hoping to get a blog up about it THIS WEEK! (ahem, ahem, accountability partners, I need you! LOL!)  I have some pictures and things on my Instagram and my facebook! Would love for you all to check it out! Then I went to DC to spend time with my family and friends! (I go to DC and never sleep! Does anyone else experience this? LOL!) Naturally it’s just harder to write when I am out of my home space and around loved ones. However, this time while in DC I think I caught the flu, so it was a total shut down on blogging. (SMH! Am I the only one who HATES getting sick!) Anyhew, I appreciate everyone’s constant support. It really means more than I could ever express, which is why I will never stop saying THANK YOU!!! It’s a New Year! I’m unsure of what each Wednesday will look like, but my hope is that in this year, I am consistent with #TheWaitingSpaceWednesday, and I pray you stick along for the ride, and that you all continue to reach out with feedback, comments and suggestions—you all truly don’t know how much it means to me!! XOXOX.

      My prayer for YOU this year is that your walk with Christ either starts, if you don’t have one, or simply becomes more intimate if you do have one. Want to know the sweetest thing about Christ? It’s that having a relationship with Him is easier than any relationship you currently have. (Think about that.) Having a relationship with Christ is easier than even your easiest relationship. Its sweeter than the one you have with your boo thang, more fun than the one you have with your best friend, and requires more growth and learning that the one you have in your professional realm, but none the less, it’s the easiest, sweetest and greatest of them all. (I plan to blog about that soon too!) So, my prayer is that your walk shifts, that God sends you a fresh wind of who He is, more experiences and presents himself in your life like never before. It is in His face that you get to wrestle, but you also ALWAYS win. 

Love you SO much & Praying for a year like non-other for you!

XOXoxoXOX,

Alicia Elizabeth

Last day in Washington, DC = family time! Grabbed brunch with the Sibz and Mi Madre! Good times! Tons of laughing, picking on one another, and over eating. Having them as siblings has ALWAYS been funny, but as adults, it seriously gets sweeter and sweeter. Moms are great, we all already knew that one though. lol. 

Big sis to the left (Brandi) and mi madre to the right! I love my mom's face in this one. LOL!

baby brudddddderrrrr,  Kelly!